Be Yourself – You Got Yourself This Far
Younger employees today have very different expectations of their leaders than they did a decade ago. They want to work for someone they feel they know well and trust. They don’t want someone who acts above them but rather someone they can confide in that works beside them.
They don’t expect perfection; they expect honesty and openness.
These employees have been immersed in social media for most of their working lives and sharing who you are and what you care about is all part of it. Especially now that the lines between people’s private and professional lives are blurred, you can’t really get away with putting on a different persona for work — not if you want to connect with others in a meaningful way. Authentic leaders know this. They openly face their gifts and strengths as well as their vulnerabilities and development challenges. They know themselves well. They don’t try to be someone they’re not, no matter the environment or circumstances. And through their own authenticity, they make it safe for others to be themselves at work too.
People become more comfortable when you show a wee bit more vulnerability. Try sharing something a bit personal about yourself. This does not have to be your deepest darkest secret. This could be something as simple as your favorite food or a fun hobby. It helps if this is something relatable to open a space for connection and input.
Showing up as your “authentic” self is the baseline to building meaningful relationships at work, but it also requires time and intent. The best tool you have here is listening and ping-ponging back and forth. You want a dialogue, not a monologue. Pay attention to important details like what they’re passionate about, where they work, or something they’ve found specifically challenging. Then, follow up. Send them something that reminds you of them. Ask a few days later about the progression of a situation. This can help you understand not only this person but your overall work environment. Why does a person perform their job duties this certain way? Why is their performance better on some days than others? Doing this can help you better understand these factors.
An important thing to remember is that the goal is not to tell your life’s story to every person the moment you meet them. You can build meaningful relationships. Be leery of people who only want to hear about you but don’t reveal anything about themselves, or people who only want to talk and don’t care to listen. Relationships should be reciprocal. A reciprocated relationship helps to build a strong team and a healthy work environment. It is also best to stay clear of people who are gossipy as they will most often not have the best intentions for others. If an opportunity to chime in on gossip is presented, stay clear.
Focusing on and making space for these deeper connections helps to fuse life and work without burnout, feeling overwhelmed, or experiencing anxiety. You have the power to create your own communities. Building these relationships will create a healthier workspace and open opportunities for guidance and assistance when needed. Deeper, more meaningful relationships at work help you avoid feeling like your life is on repeat.
It’s not always easy to carve out time to connect with anyone, let alone a co-worker, with all the need to keep doing the work of the business pressure day in and day out. Sometimes even the relating can feel like work. However, no matter how challenging all this connecting may seem, in the end, it will only lead to better things in your workplace, from the people to the outcomes. So, get to practicing. Sooner than later, it will come naturally to you.
